this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
