Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Is it penis luge time yet?
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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