im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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