my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
