a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
