Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I deserve this hangover.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
