she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
