It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
