It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
