check it out our google latitudes are spooning
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
