terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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