Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
