he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
