I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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