You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Randomize
