We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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