did you get engaged???
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
