Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
