The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
