HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
