I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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