Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize