Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
