Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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