i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
