i don't like sucking hair
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Randomize
