Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
