are you so shy because you have an std?
he shaved USA in his pubs
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
