We need to rekindle our bromance
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
