its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Life is so much better after having sex.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
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