i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
