Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize