So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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