Too much gin, very little bucket
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
