So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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