3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
We were destined to go to rehab together
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
