He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
