So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
