do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
