I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
