Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
