How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
