I hope mine doesn't look like that
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Randomize
