eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
