I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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