So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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