did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
