I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Can I color on your dick again?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Randomize
