Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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