You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
