drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
