My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
